The handout also presents the "basic values" of each American ethnic group. For white Americans, these are "Freedom/liberty/privacy; equality/fairness; achievement/success; individualism/self-interest; economical use of time; comfort." For African-Americans, "Ethnic pride, heritage, history; kinship bonds/family/motherhood; equality/fairness; achievement; respect; religion/spirituality." For Asian-Americans, "Reciprocal social duties; self-control/courtesy/dignity; devotion to parents; tradition (family, culture, the past); duty/hard work/diligence."

Because when I was at the Statesman, my colleagues my age were Martin Amis, Julian Barnes, James Fenton, and Timothy Noel. And I have to say, I realized these guys were better at that kind of writing than I was. It was rather intimidating that they were so good. It made me specialize more in the generalist-type political essay. But they were very good people to work with, for style. They persuaded me it wasn't enough just to make the point; that style was substance, and that there was something in language itself I learned by osmosis.

What sets these girls apart from the mass of similarly dressed teenagers who haunt fashionable areas like this one is not that they will pull an all-nighter from time to time, but that they have dropped out of high school altogether, preferring a full-time life of nocturnal amusement.

"Tarantino named his production company after one of my films. He'd have done better to give me some money."

If you haven't yet caught on, I am not a day trader. In fact, if the definition of a trader is one who buys and sells stocks, you could argue I am not even a trader. My current portfolio represents the only stocks I've ever owned, which I've never sold, but which I check constantly for no purpose.

"I deserve to win this contest because my wife dumped me and ran off with her cyber-lover, and this would make her regret her decision for at least five minutes before she finally sheds that last ounce of respect for me. I think you'll agree it's a win-win situation."

Christopher Hitchens, of Vanity Fair, and Alan Rudolph, the director of Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle, were given copies of Marion Meade's piece and the opportunity to respond to it. Rudolph chose not to respond. Hitchens's response: Joke, right? You pester me with all this bulls--t and it turns out to be an ill-phrased article by someone who wants to moan about the nuisance of fact-checking? Tell her from me that she ought to be careful in her use of the word plagiarism and that if she made the insinuation in a serious magazine, or a magazine that anyone read, I would take it seriously in turn. As it is, do your worst—you seem to do it anyway. F--- you, CH

Why not just go all out? Call the show "People Will Do Anything for Money" or "America's Funniest Prostitutes"?

His mother was there, wearing white shoes and a scarf that said, in gold lettering: JESUS 2000. A man in a Nike beret and a leather jacket who said he was her spokesman announced: "I want everyone to know the kid wasn't abandoned."

...Mr. Carrey told Newsweek, that comedy "doesn't even have to be funny. It can be weird or ironic." This is preposterous. "If it's not funny," says Mr. Cleese, "I don't think you can call it comedy."